Best Lecture So Far... plus some random stuff

Today I had the best lecture to date in medical school. Rather, I had the best lecturer; the content (epidemiology) isn’t terribly interesting on its own—although it’s highly important. If you’re curious what it is, here is the official definition from my lecture notes: “The study of the distribution and determinants of health related states or events in specified populations and the application of this study to the control of health problems.”

Why is my instructor so awesome? In addition to more customary lecturing skills (talented oration, lucid enumeration, logical flow etc) and his use of television examples (from Seinfeld, Southpark, Maury Povich), he illustrates principles with examples from reality that highlight patterns of magical thinking that are rampant in society. In other words, I can tell that he champions critical thinking and skepticism—subjects near and dear to my heart.

For example, to emphasize the importance of validity in evaluating a treatment strategy--despite it having high sensitivity or reliability--he called attention to the use of so-called “facilitated communication” which purports to allow communication with an autistic individual (or anyone else with limited-to-no communicative faculties) through a “trained” facilitator. You can read more about it here. Though this “skill” can sometimes appear convincing, it fails utterly under even the slightest amount of scientific scrutiny. If you want to see the damage of which this kind of pseudoscience is capable, go here. By the way, while I’m on the topic of autism, vaccines do not cause autism, nor is there any evidence whatsoever to suggest that they do.

When I have my medical degree, I plan to devote much of my energy to fighting the insidious infestation of pseudoscience masquerading as medicine running rampant in this country. This includes facilitated communication, therapeutic touch, reflexology, homeopathy, faith healing, reiki etc. For a fairly comprehensive encyclopedic entry of these and other forms of quackery, visit this site.

Alright, I’m hopping down from my soapbox now. The Cell1 exam was 2 weeks ago and I survived! To celebrate, my housemates and I hosted another brunch—and it was heaven. I think there were about a dozen people altogether, and we made a ton of food. I experimented with the scrambled eggs by adding milk and pancake mix (I remembered seeing this on the menu of an IHOP) and it made them super-ultra fluffy and delicious! I recommend this for all of your future scrambled egg endeavors.

Concert band is making my life crazy and sucking all kinds of study time from me. Not only was our first big concert the night before the Cell1 exam, but my Thanksgiving break was truncated due to rehearsals I had to attend, causing me to leave late and return early. In addition, there are two extra rehearsals this week and three more (mini) concerts. Agh! I have crap to learn, people! On the bright side, the lecture material for Cell2 is much more palatable, and studying is much more tolerable. On an even brighter side (there are three sides, OK? Get over it), my director offered me a paying gig on December 13^th, woohoo! Money! I can use that!

My dad has informed me that we’re changing the dynamics of our Sprint family plan; I will soon be getting a smartphone for the first time in my life (and I’ll finally have the capacity for internet usage and unlimited texting!). I can’t wait for my new phone. My current one is only nominally functional. It only rings/vibrates when it feels like it, so I often have missed calls/alerts. I’m planning to get the HTC Hero with Google as my new phone.

Here are some random thoughts upon which I would expound had I been updating my blog more regularly:

1) Stacy is moving out. We need a new roommate. ASAP. Pain in the butt.

2) Something is wrong with our sink drain and/or disposal unit. Annoying.

3) Obama is doing many things to disappoint me.

4) Just when I think my disgust with Sarah Palin can’t possibly intensify further, she proves me wrong.

5) I drink waaaay too much coffee.

6) All of the med students are required to render a piece of art somehow illustrating professionalism or humanism. Yes, Required. No further comment.

7) I went to the Melting Pot for the first time last week. Wow. Me gusta.

8) I love Glee. Like, a lot. Also, I recently discovered that I love Lada Gaga. Who knew?

I’ll do my best to update more often. I forget 98% of the stuff that happens to me. Perhaps I have beta amyloid plaques and neurofibrillary tangles of tau protein…

Mounting Momentum... and a logical Halloween

A recent conversation with my “study buddy” Kelsey sums up my feelings regarding recent weeks:

Kelsey: “Remember when we thought we were going to fail the head and neck exam?”

Me, forming a wistful expression: “Ah yes. Those were the good ol’ days.”

I thought that once the Anatomy block was over, life would become simpler. I would awake to the sound of birds singing while they prepped my shower, and the neighborhood squirrels would help me get dressed while the fluffy bunnies from the forest would cook my breakfast. This fantasy was eviscerated on the morning after our last Anatomy exam when we began the Cell Block.

I’m getting ahead of myself again. Let’s step back a couple more weeks…

*Wayne’s World-style flashback sound effect –doodaloodaloo—doodaloodaloo—doodaloodaloo…*

Although head and neck anatomy (Anatomy unit 3) had the most difficult material to master, in the end I (and many others) performed the best on the exam/practical in comparison to the other two units. There are 3 reasons for this: (1) Our anatomy lernin’ skillz improved significantly over the Anatomy block, (2) The exam was (I think) designed to be slightly easier given the difficulty of the material, and (3) I partnered up with Kelsey—the most symbiotic learning relationship I ever could have imagined. Thanks to her, we pulverized the exam—and ended up getting the same score! Imagine that.

The Cloud 9 we were riding started to rain the next day and we fell through it, hitting the ground hard as we began Cell Block. I thought it would be a comfortable review of undergrad basic sciences. It’s so much more than that. Some of the broad topics include bioenergetics, pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics, carbohydrate metabolism, histology, pathology, and a high-powered review of biochemistry. The subject matter isn’t hard. There’s just a lot. And the lectures—on the whole—aren’t half as interesting as the anatomy lectures. In other words, given that the anatomy lectures put me to sleep, these lectures are coma-inducing. Many students have elected the “IP-ISP pathway.” Translation: they’re in the Integrated Pathway Program, but stay home and podcast the lectures (hence “Independent Study Pathway” hybridization).

Even though I (and everyone else, from what I gather) am lagging behind in my digestion of the material, I’m still making room for fun and staying on top of my extra-curriculars. This past Friday I went to Cheesecake Factory and a movie (Zombieland—hilarious!) with Mike. We also went to gymnastics the night before. I had been aching to go for months; it felt good to do some flips again.

My Pilates classes at Goodwill are going well—much better than I anticipated. I have more people attending each week, and they want to record me so the satellite locations can engage in the class as well. Weird? Yes. Flattering? Yes.

I’m desperately in need of a break, and so is everyone else. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving so I can see my cats again—especially Chopin! I miss him so much! Oh, yeah--and family too, I guess.

I’ll leave you with this picture of my Halloween costume that I took with my computer’s camera. I broke my digital camera (Long story. Too mad to talk about it...) Anyway, I was a Star Trek StarFleet Science Officer. Science officers wear blue. I like science. I also like blue. Hence, in the words of Spock, it was only “logical.”

Chaotic Confluence

Although I’m delighted that all of my aspirations are knitting together beautifully, the resultant masterwork is a convoluted nightmare.

Let’s step back 2 weeks. I decided long ago to pursue a creative outlet by performing with one of OSU’s concert band ensembles (of which there are four). I auditioned for the highest band that would fit my schedule (two of them rehearse in the mornings during my lectures, the other two rehearse in the evenings). Although I gave the worst audition of my life, I still managed to secure the principal trumpet position (I don’t know what I’d do if someone else played all the solos. I’m greedy and conceited, OK? Get over it). So that was a good thing. A very good thing.

…Maybe.

I was also fretting about the second exam, which promised to be much more difficult than the first given the material. It turns out my score improved 5% compared to the first exam. If I only knew what the future held in store for me, I could save myself potential stress ulcers from the amount of needless worrying I do. No, so far I haven’t had any psychosomatic manifestations, but perhaps it’s only a matter of time.

I’ve also resolved my community project. I’ve decided to volunteer at Goodwill Columbus on Wednesdays. On the first Wednesday of the month, I will conduct seminars during which I’ll try to educate participants and employees about proper nutrition and other health and wellness topics. Every 2^nd/4^th Wednesday I will lead group fitness activities (yoga and Pilates), and I will give a little trumpet concert every 3^rd Wednesday of the month.

I failed to mention previously that I enrolled in an elective course entitled “Surgical Clinical Correlates in Anatomy.” In essence, we spend a couple hours with different surgical specialists wherein we learn about their surgical specialty and observe them perform various surgical techniques on cadavers. Often, they will let us use some of the cool (and expensive as hell) tools. Some of the classes we’ve had so far include orthopedics, general surgery, abdominal/thoracic/pelvic, urologic, general surgery and head & neck.

These are just a few of the many awesome things I have going my way. The only problem is that my “free” time (“free” is in quotes because any time not spent in class is best spent studying) is rapidly dissolving. Amidst all these and other commitments (CAPS lectures, physical exam evaluations, learning community meetings, various informational seminars), the clean space on my calendar is going extinct. Soon I’ll be left with scant study hours and negligible social opportunity. Not to mention Andrew-time. Sometimes I just like to veg-out, watch TV and eat junk. I really, really miss that. I still eat junk, of course, but only when I’m studying.

I’m excited that my dad and Uncle Dave are visiting me this weekend. Hopefully it will provide me with an opportunity to step outside the confines of school and cast a refreshed perspective on my new life.

I better go. I’m really behind on my understanding of the neck’s neurovasculature, not to mention embryology. I will leave you with this lovely congenital disease. It’s called a congenital omphalocele. As a normal part of development, the intestines extrude into the umbilical cord for a period of time as they grow (this is called physiological herniation) before retreating back into the abdominal cavity. If the herniation persists, the baby will be born with its GI tract still inside the umbilical cord outside of the body. It’s non-life-threatening, but it sure is disturbing.

Vile Bile

I knew something was wrong when I saw the green goo, but I significantly underestimated how severe our problem was.

Today in anatomy lab, our task was to cut into the abdomen and explore the structures inside (e.g. mesentery, intestines, stomach, liver, spleen etc.). It sounded so simple. The first few steps involved making a cross-shaped incision in the abdominal wall out through the umbilicus (belly button) and reflecting the layers back to reveal the viscera.

Carefully trying to avoid damaging the underlying omentum, I made my first incisions very superficial. Then, on the third stroke:

“Whoa…”

Green goo. Oozing out of the incision.

“Is that bile? That’s impossible! There’s no way I cut that deep!” Bile is stored in the gall bladder, which is located on the inferior surface of the liver.

The four of us stared at each other with bemused expressions.

We continued to open the peritoneal (abdominal) cavity, becoming increasingly aghast at the deep green soup saturating the intestines and pooling in the crevasses between.

“This doesn’t make any sense. Maybe her gall bladder exploded post-mortem?” one group member suggested.

We called over one of the doctors, who explained that the embalming process sometimes increases the pressure inside the gall bladder, causing it to burst.

I sighed some relief. At least it wasn't my fault.

Noting that our misfortune was par for the course, we continued the dissection resigned to the fact that our internal organs would be dyed green. No big deal, right?

“Wait, what is that thing? It can’t be the omentum. Wait… where is the greater omentum? It should be right here on top!”

Rather than seeing the expected fatty, vascularized extension of peritoneum that covers the intestines, we saw this huge, hard, green (from the bile spill) brick-like thing just under the peritoneum.

After some wild conjecture, we looked at one another with hopeless expressions and called the doctor over once more.

“Whoa,” he said. Glad we weren’t the only ones with that reaction.

He spent a few minutes exploring the cavity, trying to understand what we were seeing. Eventually he reached several conclusions:

1) The huge brick-like object was impacted colon (it must have more than quadrupled in diameter).

2) The omentum had fused to the parietal peritoneum and begun to disintegrate, which is why we didn’t see it.

3) It was a mess.

For whatever reason—perhaps related to metastatic ovarian cancer—Bertha was extremely constipated. Perhaps for the same reason, the omentum tried to contain this growing mass in the abdominal cavity by growing around it to seal it off from the rest of the viscera. We actually learned earlier that day that this is a useful function of the greater omentum: it can form adhesions to adjacent inflamed organs to partition it from the other viscera.

At any rate, what ensued was the most horrific sequence of events I hope to experience in anatomy lab. We had to remove the impacted colon so that we could gain access to the rest of the abdomen and—hopefully—continue with our dissection.

It’s difficult to be sure, because the anatomy was altered so much, but we think the affected portions of colon included the transverse, descending and sigmoid segments (altogether a significant portion of large intestine). The rest of the colon was impacted as well, but not as distended as the more distal regions.

We tied off the most obstructive part of impacted colon with string and used a scalpel to snip it out. Perhaps “snip” is the wrong verb, though. It was about the diameter of a lower leg.

But the knots of the string didn’t do the trick. They slipped off the cut edge. What now?

We milked the feces out of the colon in order to better tie it off.

Yes. I helped to milk several pounds of green, bile-stained feces out of an impacted colon.

Although the experience totally grossed me out (though we all kept our equanimity), I couldn’t help thinking about how much pain the living Bertha suffered. “Excruciating” would surely be an understatement. This sobering notion helped to remind me of the respect we must afford the cadavers. One of the most offensive things we can do is to lose our composure.

(Normal abdomen, courtesy www.NetAnatomy.com)

1st Medical School Exam, and a bonus rant

Elation. Relief. Reinvigoration. I made it through my first exam unscathed, and with a renewed sense of optimism. I performed far better than I imagined in my most optimistic moments, and in hindsight I can see I worried far too much. This whole medical school thing? I think I can do it!

We were given nearly two hours to complete the computer portion of the exam (75 questions). I was surprised how little time it took me to get through—I finished in under an hour, allowing me 2 more hours to study for the practical. I was already in a good mood by that time, because we receive our computer portion scores immediately after we submit the test (I got an A), so there was an instantaneous relief of pressure. I headed to Panera bread, grabbed some coffee and a bagel, and sat down to leaf through my Grant’s Dissector (our lab manual for anatomy dissections).

I was impressed with the practical. The 3 anatomy labs hosted about 60 stations, 50 of which had structures to identify (the other 10 or so were waiting stations that provided an opportunity to relax, check spelling and reconsider answers). We had a minute per station, following-the-leader to the next item when the buzzer went off. 40 cadaveric structures (muscles, tendons, nerves, arteries, veins, ligaments etc) were marked with either “I.D.” or “motor innervation.” The other 10 included things like angiograms, cross sections, bone markings and CT scans. I found both the written and practical portions of the exam to be very fair; I can’t think of any negative criticism. I haven’t received my score for the practical, but I knew ahead of time that I could get 33 wrong and still pass.

I spent most of the weekend relaxing; I haven’t done any work whatsoever. On Friday I finally practiced trumpet and hit the gym, went out with other med students to a bar in the Arena district, and then ate cookies and played games all night. Saturday I saw “Up” (LOVED IT!) at a Dollar Theater (except it was $2, those lying bastards. **shakes fist**) and went out with a couple friends from D.C. who were in town for the OSU v USC game. This morning, Sarah, Mike, Duane and I engorged ourselves with a pancake brunch and watched this hilarious sketch comedy show I Netflixed called “Little Britain USA (I HIGHLY recommend it). Tonight my friend Chris is making me dinner; I hope I’m not still full with pancakes…

Time for a mini-rant. I got a call from our landlord telling us that she received a complaint that our grass is too long, and that we need to mow it by Monday lest she get in trouble with the township. Before I get too angry, I’ll concede that we agreed to mow the grass when we started renting the house, but we’ve been too busy to purchase a mower or pay a neighbor. That is being rectified in an hour thanks to Craigslist. So, fair is fair. That said—

1) Who the hell had the audacity to complain about a lawn that isn’t theirs? I don’t like the color schemes of some of the houses on our block. Should I have the legal right to complain to the city about them? Can I complain to the city about the dog that barks its head off and keeps me up at night?

2) Why should anyone care so much about a lawn in the first place, let alone someone else’s? It’s just grass! Aren’t there more important things to concern yourself with, or is your life really that boring and unfulfilled?

3) Lawns are an abomination anyway. It’s unnatural to have homogenous flora in the first place. That’s why weeds crop up. They’re not invading your lawn; it’s simply nature trying to reestablish equilibrium. This country has an unnatural obsession with lawns. We spend a fortune on fertilizers, weed killers, and we waste water on them during dry spells to keep them green. And hey, if grass isn’t green, that’s OK too! It’s normal. Grass goes dormant when it’s too dry. Find some other metric by which to judge your neighbors. Or, better yet, don’t judge your neighbors.

Alright, now I feel less pissed. I’m gonna go catch up on Project Runway!

Toilets and backpacks

I was sitting on the toilet when it dawned on me how cool knowledge of anatomy can be.

You know how parts of your leg can get numb/tingly/weak when you sit there too long and/or in certain positions or postures? I realized how awesome anatomy is when I discovered that I could name all the nerves and arterial supplies (and consequently their branches and innervations to various muscles) that are being compressed to give me that particular sensation.

For instance, last night I had this thought:

"I must be compressing the common peroneal (fibular) division of my sciatic nerve, which is paired with the common tibial division more deeply (so it's not as compressed), and which branches off (as the common fibular nerve) to wind around the lateral aspect of my knee, after which it splits into the superficial fibular branch supplying the lateral aspect of my leg and the deep fibular branch which supplies the anterior compartment and gives off the lateral sural cutaneous nerve, and that's why I have this sensation along the anterolateral aspect of my leg, but not the posterior compartment because that's innervated by the tibial nerve--the superior portion of which is not compressed in its tibial division of the sciatic nerve--and not the medial or posterior compartments of my thigh because they're innervated by the obturator nerve and tibial division of the sciatic nerve, respectively, and cutaneously by the inferior cluneal nerve."

No joke. That seriously went through my mind.

I also have an extremely heavy backpack, and had a similar thought walking home the other day as it compressed my suprascapular nerve running deep to my transverse scapular ligament.

Maybe there will be question about toilets on the exam tomorrow...

The answer to my question is "no."

It’s appropriate that I ended the title of my previous blog with a question mark (“End of the Maelstrom?”). The answer is no. It was only the eye of the storm. I won’t dive into a full explanation; you can probably guess (e.g. the main contributor is the colossal information load that I’m supposed to assimilate). It’s old news, but the pressure is mounting as the exam (this Friday) no longer looms in the horizon, but terrorizes me like a swiftly advancing tsunami.

The exam will consist of 75 computer-based questions (55 medically-related anatomy; 20 embryology) and 50 practical questions (40 tagged structures on our cadavers, plus 10 from cross sections and medical imaging). The computer-based questions begin at 8am. The practicals are offered to different groups at various times throughout the day. Because I always draw the short straw with such matters, I will be in the first group, which means I have little-to-no time to squeeze extra studying time in beforehand.

I feel moderately confident. I took a practice quiz and practice practical and passed both (meaning I got above 70%); many people failed. They were designed to be a little more difficult than the real exams, too. Still, I feel that the older information is leaking out as I try to stuff more in my head. We’re on the lower limb now, and I’m starting to forget the arterial and nervous roadmaps of the upper extremity. My plan is to spend the rest of today learning this weeks’ lecture material, and all of tomorrow consolidation the entire 4 weeks’ worth of knowledge.

Enough exam-talk, though. We had a potluck at our house this past weekend after playing volleyball for a couple hours. I made lasagna (thanks, mom), Mike brought wings, and Sarah and her visiting boyfriend brought the ingredients to make turkey egg-rolls. Delicious. Much Rockband2 ensued, naturally.

We had our first experience with ultrasound last week. There was a lecture describing the mechanics of the technology, followed by some demonstrations. At the beginning of the lecture, none of the images made sense; it all looked like grayish blobs. Toward the end of the lecture, things were starting to click. By the time we had the opportunity to use ultrasound machines ourselves the next day, I could mostly understand what I was seeing. We imaged the glenohumeral (shoulder) joint, structures in the wrist, and the knee joint.

Last week culminated in a Community Project Fair, during which we rotated around to 60 or so tables for organizations that offer volunteer opportunities to med students. We can volunteer with as many as we’d like, but we are to choose one to serve as a community project to which we will devote a substantial amount of time and energy. There are at least two I’m seriously considering. One involves a mentorship with an elementary school student for which we’d visit the kids at their school once a week (or so) and serve as a positive role model. Another involves counseling physical therapy patients on proper exercise technique, nutrition, answering medical questions etc. There’s also a program that I’m not considering for my project—but in which I plan to participate—called “Walk with a Doc.” All you do is show up at the park on a Saturday morning and spend an hour walking around with elderly individuals. It sounds like a great way to spend an hour of light exercise.

Earlier this week I had my first practical assignment for the clinical skills center as a part of the CAPS course. I was sent into a room with a patient and instructed to use the BATHE method (Background, Affect, Trouble, Handling, Empathy) for developing/refining information acquisition and interpersonal skills. In essence, I introduced myself to a standardized patient (actor) as a first year medical student, washed my hands, and had a heart-to-heart with a woman with knee pain. The point of the exercise was to cull as much information from her (Background) using open-ended questions, eventually delving into second-order effects of her malady (Affect, Trouble, Handling) and empathizing with her. Apparently, she couldn’t use the stair-master due to the pain, for which she was taking Ibuprofen, and which was putting additional strain on her already stressful life (a single-parent divorcee). The entire encounter was video-recorded and I will receive feedback next week.

My goal for the weekend is to construct a more-upbeat post during which I’ll discuss some of the more entertaining things I’ve been doing. Wow. The weekend… I can barely wait.

In the meantime, here’s the cool medical thingy of the day: Caput Medusae. The responsibility veins are to return deoxygenated blood centrally. Superficial veins flow to deep veins, which eventually return the blood to the heart. Sometimes veins get backed-up, and they distend and pool with blood if there’s resistance in the circulation more centrally (that’s how we get varicose veins). In the case of Caput Medusae, the superficial epigastric veins become distended and look like the picture below. It’s named for the snake-like appearance, which resembles Medusa’s hair (which, if you remember your Greek mythology, is composed of snakes). This is most often due to inadequate hepatic portal circulation resulting from diseases like cirrhosis of the liver.